communistbakery:

honestly i peaked as a zygote like.. i was completely androgynous.. unproblematic.. no acne… truly my golden years

felliss00:

when you’re on a roll drawing even though you have no idea what you’re doing

puppy95:

Someone: just be yourself!
Me: I don’t know her

kruled:

Don’t 👏 come 👏 out 👏 of 👏 your 👏 cage 👏 if 👏 you’re 👏 not 👏 doing 👏 just 👏 fine

jaclcfrost:

“that’s the spirit” i say as i gesture to the spirit that’s been haunting my home for years. when will they leave or start contributing to the household by doing something like helping with laundry. when will they pay rent

(Source: greelin)

medicine:

me: i know these astrology posts aint that serious…

me: *gets dragged by astrology post* what did i do to deserve these blatant attacks on my status as a human bean

(Source: pure)

beyonslayed:

Me at my own funeral: tag yourselves I’m the lifeless corpse

pissogyny:

a lady in the streets but asleep in the bed

dreamsuggestion:

i feel so bad for my guardian angel. she probably stressed out like a mf

kisskissfuckshitup:

you can’t trick me. I know that’s a car. you fool

bombing:

[tries to crowd surf at a TED talk]